Moments of Clarity + Week 2

You know those times where you could say so many things – that you say nothing at all? The last few weeks here in London have been like that for me. I don’t know where to begin, what to include, or what to leave out for inability to really convey the experience in written form. PS there is sunshine and a blue sky outside right now as I write this! This is rare… and I am grateful for it – it helps me feel hopeful and cheerful as I start my day. So after a short message about what’s been on my mind today, I also have a few of the things I’ve been meaning to say for a while… haha. :)

Two things I’ve been thinking about a lot this week: 

1. Be more disciplined in how I live each day

2. Remember to really enjoy my time here - find "joy in the journey"

Therefore, I’ve been using Google Calendar all the time – creating a place for me to organize all the things I want to do and would like to improve on. And every Friday, I’ve built in-between classes to “Find somewhere new!” Just to remind me to pause a bit and explore this city.

So, last Friday, I saw the reminder and consciously decided that between class, studying, and more class… I would walk the few minutes from my campus, down to the Thames. It was a beautiful adventure. The rest of the week was a blur, but those few minutes were a peaceful blessing in my week.

And I loved it. It brought clarity and helped me remember that I wasn’t just living in a student office place with endless amounts of reading, or trying to remember stats… haha… but I could pause, look out to the London Eye, down to the Shard, or remember seeing the Elizabeth Tower for the first time in person (better known as Big Ben).

And no, they are not 'black and white' photos, or even edited... that's just what color it was outside. So, those of you with beautiful fall leaves... treasure them for me too! Haha

It reminds me of the time my mom and I were hiking up this really steep area – and eventually we (the unexperienced hikers that we are) decided to turn around and go back down. Unfortunately, the way down was – just as steep… But now we were helping gravity bring us down... and it was a bit daunting to look. And Mom and I started to get really nervous. I had the distinct impression to stop, sit down, and pause – just for a minute. So, being worn out already, it didn’t take much convincing for me to sit down, and then I knew I needed to get my mom to sit down as well. Listening to that prompting saved me, and probably my mom. Immediately things cleared up and my attitude was lifted. Then we were able to make it down safely. Since then, I've been reminded to let myself breathe a little when things get overwhelming - step off to the side and just regroup.

The point is that it is important to take time to stop and smell the roses. Not just because the roses are pretty, obviously, but because in the hustle and bustle of every day, things build up and slow us down. By pausing for a short moment, we can clean up, remind ourselves of what is important, and speed back up to make progress towards our goals. These moments of clarity are precious and I am grateful for them.

A few more things I’ve been meaning to say:

Every other day or so, I listen in on a walking tour that stops outside my building – and I am still not used to the building where I am living, be a highlight on a tour… and I think every time how I should write that down… but it gets lost in the swarm of other things I could write. (NOT today, obviously. Check! I’ve got that one down… haha).

Grad school has kept me reading a lot – I think if you were to see a montage of my week, it would look like me sitting at my laptop or school’s desktop in this little office thing we have access to – and just my outfits change. Oh, or obviously in class. Or running to/from church. Or the grocery store. There you have it. :)

Oh – each time I go back to my flat, I have to walk through this little alley… I wish I’d taken a picture of it by now…  I will attempt to describe it for you though: The ground is littered with used cigarettes and often you can smell the sewer… and maybe it’s a British thing, but they leave their trash in bags right in the road and you have to walk around them? Then if you’re walking any time after 5:30 pm, you have all the smokers standing outside the pubs to navigate through, so the point is, there is no picture because I don’t particularly like walking through this area …so… I am always in a hurry.

Let’s see. What else have I been wanting to write down?

OH! I got to read a beautiful article about the history of the violin and how it was created by culture and how it has in turn shaped culture. And I got to present on it to my class. Everyone has to present something, and I got to present on an article that I understood (yay!) and even enjoyed reading! Success!

I also realized this week that London isn’t as big as I often think it is… Meaning, in the two miles between me and school, there are a minimum of 4 stops – depending on which line you take – so every half mile at least. But, getting down to the tube takes time and really makes you think you’ve got a long way to go. Based on weather, I’m not going to stop riding the tube – plus I have church meetings and classes elsewhere in London to go to, but every once in a while I can come above ground and see that I’m not that far away. And, if I walk to school, the best route is through the grounds of St. Paul’s – which almost makes it so that even when I’m running late for school… I still consider walking before jumping on the underground. :) Haha – I have walked before, and taken the bus, just most of the time I’m running late and so even though it really only saves me around ten minutes to take the tube over walking or the bus, that’s ten minutes… which is also roughly the amount of time I’m running late by.

Ok. This is quite long enough... but wait... there's more!

This week, I am grateful for:

•           My mom staying up late to write me a letter after she grumpily reviewed my essay… of which I had a bad dream about that I still remember, and then woke up to an email telling me more about her day and what was really going on. This helped me reconnect with my busy family and feel more secure because I know more…? I don’t know why. It did though.
•           Being able to witness a new convert’s baptism yesterday – at the church service, the speakers discussed the man’s story and how he has faced such opposition, yet his faith has made it so that he can withstand the trials. I am reminded that having faith and “being a good person” doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen – but that when bad things happen, because of my faith and striving to become a better person, I can endure them and find strength in times of trial.
•           I am grateful for the people in my program, who commiserate with me about the amount of reading, or help me feel like I’m not alone in not remembering how to use log transformations to make the skewed data more like a normal distribution… PS not sure I ever learned that… haha. But the point is, I am grateful for them, for their patience and friendship.
•           I am grateful that today is Sunday and I can take a whole day ‘off’ – just to focus on what matters most, putting things back into perspective, and renewing my faith in Christ.
•           I am grateful for the reminder I had this morning to update my blog – because taking the time to reflect and review helps me move forward and grow.
•           I am grateful for my Sunday church services. They have renewed my spirits and perspectives, that I am almost ready for another week. Haha. I am grateful for the place of refuge that the church is to me, the strength and friendship I’ve found there – that even though “the world is dark and I am far from home” (Lead Kindly, Light” Hymn 97) – that there is light enough for my adventures and support along the way. Plus, overall, they have been pretty great adventures so far.